Overcoming Pet Parent Stress: Tips for Dealing with the Tough Days from a Lawyer and Pet Mom

Feeling the stress of being a pet parent? You’re not alone! A lawyer and owner of mischievous pit bulls shares practical advice and personal anecdotes for dealing with the challenges of pet ownership, from destructive behaviors to financial strain.

Becoming a pet parent is incredibly rewarding, but it also comes with its share of challenges. I’ll never forget the day I came home to find my beloved sectional, utterly destroyed by my two foster fails, Zack and Zeke, my adorable American Pit Bull/Staffordshire Terrier mixes. The fluff was everywhere, and the cushion was beyond repair. In that moment, as I contemplated how I was going to afford to replace what was probably the most expensive piece of furniture in my home, I understood the temptation to surrender a pet. From chewed-up furniture to unexpected vet bills, the stress of pet ownership can sometimes feel overwhelming. However, as a lawyer juggling a demanding career with the chaos of two energetic pups, I’ve learned a few strategies that have helped me navigate the tough days and build a stronger bond with my furry companions.

We’ve all seen the cute puppy pictures online, but the reality of pet ownership is often less glamorous. Destructive behaviors, financial strain, and lack of support can all contribute to pet parent burnout. Just like parents of human children experience burnout from the endless emotional and financial demands, pet parents can also feel drained and overwhelmed. It’s important to acknowledge these challenges and recognize that it’s okay to feel overwhelmed at times. For me, those moments often arose when faced with yet another destroyed shoe or the realization that my carefully planned budget was blown on an emergency vet visit.

Give Yourself Grace: Don’t be too hard on yourself. Understand that you won’t always have unlimited energy and patience. Some days you might only have enough energy to feed yourself and your pets. Forgive yourself for mistakes and learn from them. For me, it is helpful to look at this through the lens of Spoon Theory. Spoon Theory is often used by people with chronic illnesses or disabilities and is a helpful way to visualize and manage energy levels. Imagine you start each day with a limited number of spoons, and every activity, no matter how small, costs you a spoon. Some tasks, like taking your dog for a walk, might cost one spoon, while others, like dealing with a behavioral issue, might cost several. Because our energy levels vary from day to day, some days you may have many spoons to spare, and other days you may start with just enough spoons to make it through the day. By being mindful of how many spoons you have left, you can prioritize tasks, avoid overexertion, and ensure you have enough energy for essential activities like caring for your pets.

 Build a Support System: Reach out to family, friends, dog trainers, or other pet professionals for help. Having a network of support can make a huge difference. Talk to your husband, your wife, your significant other, your best friend(s), or even a veterinarian or dog trainer. They can offer advice, lend a listening ear, or help with pet care when needed. Consider joining online forums or social media groups for pet parents to connect with others who understand your struggles. For me, this meant reaching out to Kiki at Lord of the Leash for training and pet-sitting services when needed. If you need financial support, reach out to local non-profit animal organizations. Gulf Coast Humane Society and Cape Coral Animal Shelter both provide low-cost veterinary services, but demand is high and appointments are limited, so it is best to get yourself established as a patient early if you want to take advantage of these services.

Talk About It: Don’t be afraid to express your feelings. Talking to someone you trust can provide emotional relief and helpful solutions. Share your frustrations, anxieties, and even funny stories about your pet’s antics. Sometimes, just venting can make a world of difference.

Practice Patience: When dealing with challenging behaviors, remain calm and consistent. Consider practicing meditation or breathing exercises to manage your own emotions. Remember, your pet can sense your anxiety and frustration, so it’s important to maintain a calm demeanor, especially during training or when addressing behavioral issues. Specific breathing techniques like box breathing (equal counts of inhale, hold, exhale, hold) or alternate nostril breathing can be particularly effective in reducing stress and promoting relaxation. You can find guided instructions and videos online to learn these techniques.

Recognize That “Good Enough” is Okay: You don’t need to provide your pet with the absolute best of everything. Focus on giving them love, attention, basic needs, and adequate care. Don’t get caught up in the comparison game on social media. As long as your pet is happy, healthy, and well-cared for, you’re doing a great job. I learned this lesson the hard way when I tried to cook elaborate fresh-food meals for my dogs instead of feeding them a perfectly good kibble. I exhausted myself and took time away from my dogs that would have been better spent playing with them or cuddling with them on the couch. We have since switched back to kibble, all of my dogs are happy and healthy, and I can devote more quality time to my dogs and to practicing self-care.

Remember, you’re not alone in facing the challenges of pet parenthood. By implementing these strategies, you can overcome stress, build resilience, and create a happy, healthy life with your pet. Just like parenting children, pet parenthood is a journey with ups and downs. But with patience, understanding, a little bit of humor, and the right tools for managing stress, you can navigate the tough days and cherish the incredible bond you share with your furry companion.